Seven Days

Author's Note: Well Hello there. Soo... this is extremely random and what is pretty much The Ring/Lord of The Flies + crack. It's good fun. xD Hey!! I have a liable excuse!! I wrote this at around six thirty in the morning, so it is SO not my fault. ^-^ Anyways, though this isn't the first fanfiction I've ever written ((obviously..)), it IS the first dialogue-only fic I have written so far, and I have to say it was pretty fun. I was thinking of doing another one later on.. I don't know. xD ... ANYWAYS, enjoy.

Rating: T ((language.. xD))

WARNING: This is a crossover (obviously) so if you don't like crossovers this is not the one shot for you. Secondly, I kind of made both of them a little OOC at the end. They were kinda... spazzin. xD

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"I'm not so sure we should watch this..."
"Oh come ON Simon, it's not THAT scary."
"Do we have to..?"
"Yes."
"Whhhhyyyyyy...??"
"Because you love me?"
"Guilt trips aren't nice."
"Neither is making me watch this by myself."
"..."
"Simon?"
".....Yes, Ralph?"
"Please watch this with me."
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"...."
"Stop looking at me like that!"
"PPPPLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEE?????????"
"FINE."
"YAY!!"
"Please stop jumping on me."
"Right... Sorry."
"Why don't we watch something else, or better yet, why don't YOU watch it while I go make popcorn? That sounds like a good idea."
"I'm not hungry, Simon. Please, sit down?"
"Fine... I guess I have to watch this don't I?"
"Yep."
"...Why's the t.v. messing up..?"
"... I don't know. Jack said it was supposed to do that."
"Ah. Okay."
"Scoot closer, I'm scared."
"Seriously, Ralph."
"Please..?"
"Fine."
"Oh ew!"
"This is really disturbing..."
"Please don't show bugs.. Please don't show bugs.. Please don't show bu-- OH maggots. How nice. That's just fantastic."
"What the hell Jack, this was SO not a romantic comedy.."
"Yeeeaaahhhh, can we like, I don't know, stop watching this now?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!"
"What?"
"Didn't you see that?! I'm gonna have nightmares. My life is over."
"Didn't you say that?"
"No, see what?"
"Why didn't you see that? It was like massive!"
"I was looking at you!"
"What..? Why the hell were you looking at me?!"
"I was asking you a question!"
"What was it?"
"I was asking if we could stop watching this, and now I'm asking what you saw and why you were screaming."
"When was I screaming...?"
"Uhh, like two seconds ago, when you practically jumped in my lap?"
"No?"
"Yes, Ralph."
"Hey the video's over! Wanna watch it again?"
"WHAT? No!!"
"Hey Simon, the phone's ringing. You should probably get that."
"Why don't you?"
"Because I'm a man and men don't answer phones. Duh."
"Riiigggghhhhttt... Wait. What am I then?"
"My bitch, obviously."
"What?"
"Simon, dear, are you okay? You seem to be a bit slow today..."
"I swear to God, Ralph. If you don't shut up RIGHT now..."
"You shouldn't swear Simon, it's unholy."
"Wait, what?"
"Just answer the phone."
"Alright.."
.........
"Hey, Ralph?"
"What?"
"They already hung up."
"Star sixty nine it."
"Oh, right."

RiNg!RiNg!RiNg!RiNg!RiNg!RiNg!RiNg!RiNg!RiNg!

"......"
"Uh, Hello?"
"......"
"Uhm.. You called earlier? Just calling back to see what you wanted."
"Your soul."
"What?"
"Seven days."
"Seven days until what?"
"....."
"Seven days until WHAT?"
"....."
"If you'd like to make a call please hang up and try again."
"FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!"

"...Simon what is it?"
"Some bitch just hung up on me!"
"What? Ah, hell no! Call the whore back!"
"She disconnected her phone."
"Well damn.. We need a way to contact her.."
"Or to get her to contact us."
.............
"Okay please stop smiling at me like that. You look possessed."
"But I have the solution!!"
"Which is...?"
.........
"Simon WHY are you playing the tape again...?"
"......"
"Simon?"
"......"
"Simon?"
"......."
"Simon?"
"......."
"Si--"
"WHAT."
"Hi."
"I'm gonna shoot you."
"Why?"
"Because you're annoying me and I'm trying to watch this."
"But we already watched it!"
"Well, I'm watching it again."
....
"What does the ladder mean?"
"What ladder?"
"That ladder!"
"I don't know what you're talking about, I don't see anything!"
"It's RIGHT. THERE."
"I DON'T SEE ANYTHING, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!!!"
"Simon, LOOK. It's RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU."
"Ohhh... THAT ladder."
"Yes, that ladder. What does it mean?"
"How the hell would I know?"
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I don't know!"
"I know what it means..."
"You do...?!"
"It's quite obvious, Simon.."
"It is...?!"
"Yes. The fact that you are unable to figure this out is quite unnerving to me."

RiNg!RiNg!RiNg!RiNg!RiNg!RiNg!RiNg!RiNg!RiNg!

"Hello?"
"Seven days."
"No..?"
"Yes."
"But I watched it twice! Shouldn't I get some bonus or something..?"
"Oh you did, did you..?"
"Yes!"
"Well in that case..."
"UH HUH??"
"You get four days!!"
"WHAT?!"
"What, what?"
"Wait... What?"
"Nothing..."
"...?!"
"I say nothing!!"
"Uhm..."
"TWO DAYS!!"
"FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!"
"You really shouldn't swear Simon, it's unholy."
"What?"
"What do you mean 'what'?"
"I mean WHAT!"
"Hahahhahaa!!!!!"
"What...?"
"HAHAHAHA!!!!"
"Uhm.. What's so funny?"
"ALDKJFALKSDJFAS!!!! HAHAHAHAHAH!!!!"
"Yeahh... Right..."
"Phew, that was funny. Hehe. See you in five minutes, Simon."
"Wait... wait.. WHAT...?"
.........
"Hello..?"
.............
"....You've got to be kidding."
..................
".. If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again."

*spontaneously combusts*

".... Simon..?"